Whazup Y’al. I aint spoke out fo’ a long time cuz I be turnin’ mo’ tricks than a circus monkey. Them sexual deviants just can’t get enuf’ of me. Betcha’ din’ think I knowed a word like that. I be takin’ a course in abnormal psych @ Comminity College. I wants to be beautiful inside as well as outside as Lady Lynda always say. There is one of my johns I wants ta help: he make me dress up like a Nazi and beat his ass and shit. He so good lookin’ he should have a regular gal’ and git mariied and shit. I be workin’ his head tryin’ to make him more like George Bailey out of “It’s a Wonderful Life.” I got my work cut out fo’ me fo’ damn sho’.
And guess what? Auntie Carol done git’ mixed up wid’ a He/She. And I aint wild ’bout it. I aint like it one little bit. And the funny part, “He” a sex therapist. They say “He” real good at his job and he fine. How he gone be fine if he aint know which end is up? Like Forrest Gump when he say, “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to git’. I wants her to date one of them high fallutin’ executives whut golf on Saturdays and drink dry martinis and make a whole shit load of money! Real distinguished and got mo’ money than Midas. Auntie Carol aint no rich bitch like Lady Lynda. She just barely get by. She a dyslexic typist and get her letters all fucked up all the time. But they likes her and keep her on.
I hate to see my girl wid’ no freak and I tol’ her so and she say for me to “go fuck yourself.” And I say I can’t do that but I bet “He” can. She aint never used words like that and her face look like an entire, fuckin’ thunder storm. So I aint say nothin’ more I gone let it ride fo’ now and I starts up later agin’.
God, I hope she done marry that fucker. Oh, Hell, no. That be all fo’ now, I catch ya later.
CAROL ANN -Author of Poems of Thunder (Noir & Whimsey) @Amazon, BN & publishamerica.com