Intro: Lady Lynda enters the classroom conservatively properly dressed in a brocade rose pink suit and matching cotton gloves.) Hello dears, its once again Lady Lynda I want to talk to you of a critically important topic. How a good dutiful wife behaves in a successful marriage. Oh please I deliberately did not use the word relationship. That word to me, indicates what some of us euphamistically refer to it as living together. I call it living in sin I'm getting the vapors just thinking about it. Please excuse me while I sit down before I faint. Okay now I feel much better. Please note, while Seymour Toze is my gentleman friend we each live in our separate domiciles.
Lets begin. Rule number one. Never make your husband feel inferior. For example you are offered a work position you know you're qualified for. If you wind up making more money than your dear husband, no matter how much you want it, turn it down. His ego is worth more than any economic benefit to you. In fact a wife should be really remisss if she took any job, let alone a profession. This would be a real blow to her husband's ego. A man's ego is as fragile as a bubble blown from a bubble maker. One poof and its gone. Please, whatever you do, young women. Don't make the mistake of destroying your mate's ego. They may look, manly, muscular but underneath those muscles lays a mass of mush of mashed potatoes. Please remember that.
One more thing never ever say something that goes counter to what he is saying. You must never, ever contradict him. Especially when you are riding in the automobile with him. Whenever you get lost, please don't ever suggest you pull up to the nearest gas station and ask for directions. It may be the womanly sensible thing to do but men don't think like that. It is a cardinal rule that men never ever ask for directions. This is a fact that this is written in their DNA. The building blocks of life. Don't ever criticize your man for not asking for directions. To do so would surely hurt their fragile pride. Even if you get totally lost, you'd be completely rude to complain about your lovey (spouse) not inquiring how to get somewhere. It is much better for you two to wind up on some long winding road than to prick his fragile ego. Besides you two are all alone. Use your imagination. Men may look tough but underneath they are quivering jellyfishes. It is up to the wife to consistently remember that.