Oh Auntie Carol what a dreadful example to give to your newly graduated reformed charm school ladies. A little tipsy I don't believe is the right phrase. How 'bout practically roaring down drunk? Conversely I remember a few years ago a so called woman friend invited me to a place of entertainment. Well it turned out to be a show of scantily clad male entertainers. I recall drinking nothing but Mimosas. I drank my share. Even so I was still standing and even dancing a bit. Not well but still dancing. Especially when everybody with the exception of us, were underage. They should be complete teatotolers. Shame on you. I did like the way the room was festooned with such colorful crepe, black balloons. Was black subconsously chosen because we are leaving the girls for greener pastures? Namely Mr. Pequots Reform School for Dastardly Bastards. Whatever? Pretty in pink I say. Those tulip dresses for the young ladies waiting for their two lips to be kissed by handsome beaus. I just love the colorful makeup. It was a fest fit for a Bachanalia. Whatever are pards? If you'll pardon my expression. lol. I'm truly grateful they recited my Society's Niceties in iambic pentimeter. Shakespeare would of been proud. I know I was. The perfumes were an olfactory delight. Such sophistication in scents. The sweet smell of success was in the air. A little tongue and cheek humor. Oh Auntie Carol, you are so cheeky.
Archive for March, 2011
This post by CAROL ANN
This is Auntie Carol and Lady Lynda, and we are so thrilled. The Charm School Girls got together and gave us a farewell party at the Warwick Hotel The theme was, "Bubbles and Champagne, the World to Gain." They bought five bottles of Mum's Champagne which we put on Lahonda's credit card. Oh, I declare, it is fun to be naughty sometimes. I, Auntie Carol, had two glasses and got a little tipsey. Alors! And, oh my heavens! The entire room was festooned with crepe and black baloons. The dominant theme was pink and the girls in their passion pink prom dresses resembled tulips blooming in a garden.
On their lips was the palest of "baby" pink and on their eyelids was pastel violet or turquoise according to eye color. all according to what a true lady would wear. And my, oh my, the had a three tier yellow cake with white frosting and pink and yellow roses. The cake was sumptuous, and I ate five roses and am all the fatter for it. One must indulge one's gustatory pleasures every now and then. And Bacchus and his 'pards were in attendence as well. Of course, I jest, a little tongue and cheek humor for you.
They all got together and recited Lady Lynda's Society's Niceties in iambic pentameter. She was so ecstatic, as was I.
They are the future wives and mothers of the world and a boon to any proper man's bed. Our live's work had come to fruition in these fey, and reckless lasses!
As they left they trailed behind them the scents of White Shoulders, Shalimar, Tea Rose, and Faberge's WoodHue. Scent is a lady's calling card. For a lady must always be a spectral image in her lover's mind. A lady must be unforgettable like the late Audrey Hepburn. Oh, my, my eyes mist over in tears just thinking of that memorable evening.
This is the Black Orchid, darlings and just have yourselves a pluperfect day! I am so proud of my two mortals, Lady Lynda and Auntie Carol. They've got their whole class wearing charming little chanel suits and black patent leather pumps and carrying sachets in their purses in case they get the vapors. The troll dolls have been transformed to Barbie Dolls. Mon Dieu! They call them "The Pussy Patrol" in school but the girls just snub them with an assured air of superiority with as much respect as one would give a gnat or a flea. And they all wear gloves. And there's no more wrist bands to announce what they will or will not do. In fact, they have foresworn sex until marriage. The girls envy them and the boys respect them. Due to the study of entomology, the study of Latin and Greek word root words, they have increased their vocabularies ten fold and they tolerate no abusive or crude language, bitch slapping those who offend.
They all plan to go to college and study such approved fields as teaching, nursing, liberal arts or languages, all to complement their husband's status in the community at large. Most plan to marry high ranking corporate executives or foreign diplomats. Alors, my sweet peas, a lady who speaks French in the boudoir is truly a gem. as cock or dick sound so much more savory in French or even Spanish. They are truly goddesses now: never the crude, always the sublime.
My two proteges are much in demand in the school system but nay, they will not take the easy path teaching gangly young ladies. Our girls are going for the maximum challenge, to teach at Mr. Pequot's Reformatory for Dastardly Bastards. To say they are the scum of the earth is to minimize it. They intend to make gentleman of those ruffians. I wish them well, and as a guest teacher, I have readied all my best whips. They are allowed carte blanche with these "Gangstas" as they have styled themselves. My cohort, Wanda Lust, also plans to teach them the finer points of female eroticism. All they know now is how to unzip their pants and push a girl's head down on their cocks! Elementary and obtuse!!
We shall transform these hooligans into proper gentleman or we shall die trying. Or rather they shall die trying. I shall bring my slaves to demonstrate proper deportment with a woman. Darlings, a woman with a will to dominate is no laughing matter, I tell Ye, true.
Introduction. Lady Lady preps herself for one of her many important talks. Its on how a good wife handles her husband’s braggadoio tendencies. Plus for the record what a lady friend’s behavior toward her gentlemInan friend with the same issue. ( End of Intro)
“One thing is to control one’s lips. Never say you doubt what he is saying. Never question. Please tell me you’re not ever going to do that? Promise.
That said here’s a real example. One of my former gentlemen friend’s loved to brag regarding his masculinity. I purposely didn’t say manliness because what he told was way before his manhood. In fact it was most certainly quite before what most people consider male puberty. He told me he could get an erection as early as the age of five. Oh stop that snickering. That is the proper term. Its certainly not getting a hard on.
Well I find what he said , well how can I express this? I found that a hard one…to believe ”
Please keep in mind that it is a woman’s duty to smile or some similar way to react to what ever her man is telling her about himself. Even if you secretly think what he tells you is as believable as Santa Clause or the Easter Bunny. I remember a former girlfriend of Seymour Toze’s favorite expression was “Why don’t you make up some more stories” Believe me she wasn’t referring to his creative writing prowess. Speaking of prowess when your man tells you incidents of his manly prowess, even if you think its highly unlikely just nod as if to say “Who me question you?” Emphasis on the word you, slightly elongated. Oh I never should of put it like that. Well I hope you get the picture. and I’m hoping its a really enjoyable one!!!